Every relationship will have its problems and its rough times. Everyone has disagreements at some time, especially when two people become close, but when you start to feel that there are some serious problems in your relationship, this is when you must start to consider what you can do to actively seek solution.
It may seem like an impossible uphill climb, but in reality, if you take things one step at a time you will likely find repairing your relationship a much more attainable feat than you initially thought. Furthermore, you owe it to yourself and your partner to do everything you can to make a relationship work, particularly if there is a child involved. Every relationship involves a great deal of work to function and be the best version of itself which it can possibly be. So, check out the following tips to help give you a few ideas on where you can begin.
Identify Where the Problems Are
To begin to fix problems, you must first identify what those problems are. Discuss at length with your partner why they feel they are unhappy, and express your own feelings to them. Keep a level head and listen to your partner’s opinions on board. When you’ve got everything off your chests, figure out whether the problems in your relationship can be fixed and you both feel you can legitimately move past them, or if something has happened which is simply a deal-breaker. Everybody has a different benchmark as to what the deal-breakers are, but your self-respect and safety is of paramount importance.
There’s no point trying to extend a relationship if it’s destined for failure further down the line. If you have a child, you must put their needs first; consider if they would be truly happier with the relationship intact, or whether a separation would be better. You must think about the environment that you are bringing your child up in, and whether it is positive and beneficial for your child. You might need to look into matters of custody or paternity disputes for unmarried parents. Know when to fight hard for your relationship, but also, if you truly feel it isn’t going to work, don’t try to force it, as delaying the inevitable will only need to more heartache and pain for everyone involved.
Having a short break in your relationship can work wonders. A little time apart may help you remember why you love your partner so much as you begin to miss having them around, or it may help you come to the decision that you are better off alone. Often, we can take the good things for granted and only focus on the bad, so spending a little time apart might help you see things in perspective again. This should also help you re-charge and, should you feel like you haven’t been yourself lately, might help you return to feeling more like the genuine version of yourself that you want to be. You might have been stressed out and focusing too much on the little things, so taking some time to focus on yourself and your own wellbeing should help you to remember what’s important and what really matters to you, helping you to return to your relationship with a fresh outlook. Just make sure all the boundaries of such an arrangement are well discussed and laid out beforehand.
Make the Effort
There are a million different ways you can show a partner that you care for and value them. Engaging in these continually and without provocation will help smooth the bumps that will naturally form in any relationship. Buy small presents, plan trips, and just put the time aside to pay full attention to your partner and listen to what they’re going through. Routine can also be a severe killer for a relationship- if you’re both doing the same thing day in, day out, it’s easy for things to stagnate. Try to shake things up by planning a spontaneous outing, maybe to somewhere you’ve never been. Try new things together and try to stop yourself from falling into the same old practices day after day. Working together at things, whether that be cooking or trying out a new hobby, will help forge good communication skills and help you both feel more like a team which wants to stand together on problems. Ultimately, it can serve as a valuable reminder that you’re both on the same side and that you both want things to work out.