By David Hiltbrand, The Philadelphia Inquirer –
Pop quiz. Who said it?
“I would say … that 70-80 percent of the shows on TV are bull—-. They’re loosely scripted. Things are planted, Things are salted into the environment so things seem more shocking.”
That would be Mike Fleiss, talking this week about reality shows. As the creator of “The Bachelor,” “The Bachelorette” and about a score more of this invasive species, Fleiss would probably know.
His comments coincided with a scandal that rocked “House Hunters,” HGTV’s signature show. If you’ve somehow missed 13 seasons of this popular home-sweet-home idyll, the premise involves an individual, couple or family looking to relocate with the help of a realtor. They narrow it down to a few properties, weigh their options and seal the deal, all in a neat half-hour narrative.
Except a former participant revealed that it’s an illusion. She wasn’t considered to be on the show until after she had closed on her house. The other real estate options she was shown agonizing over? They weren’t even on the market. The owners just let them tape there.
HGTV quickly issued a non-denial non-denial: “We’ve learned that the pursuit of the perfect home involves big decisions that usually take place over a prolonged period of time — more time than we can capture in 30 minutes of television. However, with a series like ‘House Hunters,’ HGTV viewers enjoy the vicarious and entertaining experience of choosing a home — from establishing a budget, to touring properties and weighing the pros and cons of each one. We’re making a television show, so we manage certain production and time constraints, while honoring the home buying process.”
In other words, yes, it’s a charade. Shocked? You shouldn’t be. The people who make this stuff are very careful not to ever refer to it as “reality TV.” They are quite punctilious in always calling it “unscripted’ (I’m assuming on advice of counsel).
The argument has been going on for half a century, back to “Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom.” Did Marlin Perkin’s camera crews really stumble across a pit viper locked in battle with a bobcat in that perfectly manicured clearing or did they pit them against each other? It’s a short hop from there to “Real Housewives.”
Surely you’ve noticed how unbelievably perseverant the loud mouths and crazies are on competition shows? It’s because reality TV thrives on controversy and conflict, and villains provide that. On last season’s “Bachelorette,” the caddish Bentley abruptly left the show. A couple of weeks later, the producers actually brought him back. He may have been a disgrace to mankind but the guy was ratings gold.
The thing is, everyday life is fairly tedious and distinctly lacking in excitement. That’s why documentaries are years in the making. It takes that long to get two hours of usable footage.
TV producers simply don’t have the time or the patience. They know that reality needs a little nudge. Or as Fleiss could tell you — because he also gave us such classic “unscripted” series as “Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire?,” “The Cougar,” “Leave It to Lamas” and “H8R” — sometimes it needs a great big shove.
—Stop the world. This weekend on “Oprah’s Next Chapter,” our broadcast bodhisattva visits the Kardashian clan for a series of interviews. In the promo, she asks the tough questions like, “Kim, would you be where you are had you not made a sex tape?”
This is how far our world has sunk, people: Oprah is reduced to depending on the Kardashians to boost her ratings.
—Cast out. Sometimes I think that all the adulation lavished on “Mad Men” is some sort of elaborate prank that I’m not in on. Because the fifth season finale proved once again that this is the worst-acted show since “Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.”
Go back and look at the scene where Pete (Vince Kartheiser) visits Beth (Alexis Bledel) in the hospital after she has received electro-shock therapy. Bledel, who has such a remarkably blank screen presence that she makes January Jones look like Helen Mirren, is actually schooling Kartheiser.
The only person in “Mad Men’s” cast who can act is John Slattery (Roger), and even he does a better job in his Lincoln car commercials.
—Who done it. So the big night has finally arrived. After two seasons and enough rain to waterlog Noah, “The Killing” will finally answer in a two-hour episode the question we’ve all been waiting for: Who killed Rosie Larsen?
Can’t wait. I just hope I’m not the only one who needs a quick refresher. This has dragged on for awhile now. Remind me, who is Rosie Larsen?
