By David Hiltbrand, The Philadelphia Inquirer –
ABC has announced the chorus line for its 15th season of “Dancing with the Stars,” which will begin in September. It’s a field made up of previous contestants that the network is labeling an “All-Stars” edition.
A couple of things leap out of that news flash. It implies that up until now, the show has been exercising a great deal of latitude in its definition of “Stars.” And the fact that they are now recycling participants suggests that we may finally have exhausted America’s vast storehouse of random and bizarre quasi-celebrities.
The deck on “DWTS: All-Stars” is stacked with four former winners: Emmitt Smith, Kelly Monaco, Drew Lachey and Helip Castroneves. One of them will have Mirror Ball bookends.
The also-danced are Kirstie Alley, Pamela Anderson, gymnast Shawn Johnson, Joey Fatone, fresh off his critically acclaimed turn in “Jersey Shore Shark Attack,” Gilles Marini, who is famous primarily for appearing on “DWTS,” “Bachelor” reject Melissa Rycroft, skater Apolo Anton Ohno and Bristol Palin. You can vote online for one of three candidates that I don’t care about to be the 13th dancer.
Not much suspense, not much fun and certainly not the field I would have chosen.
What I wouldn’t give to see Master P. lurch across the floor one more time.
How could you miss out on an opportunity to get Donny and Marie competing?
And call me crazy, but I would have liked to see pro wrestler Chris Jericho go all twinkle toes again. Or the return the show’s other pro wrestler, Stacy Keibler. (Hmmm, wonder if she shared that part of her resume with boyfriend George Clooney?)
Another missing member of my dream tap team: Wayne Newton. Little known fact: For all these years Donald Trump has been conducting a tonsorial tribute to Netwon.
On the bright side, at least we were spared Melissa Gilbert and Rob Kardashian. Unless next season they do “DWTS: Villains.”
—Role models. Bristol Palin should have time to rehearse her salsa. Her Lifetime reality series about raising a child as a young single mom, “Life’s a Tripp,” has been doing so dismally it was bumped from prime time for reruns of “Dance Moms.”
At least her mom stuck up for the program this week, saying, “I love the show. I think … it’s very positive, it’s very realistic in terms of showing what single motherhood really is. It’s not like the ‘Teen Mom’ — partyin’, woo-hoo! — fun, glamorizing single motherhood.”
First of all, Sarah picked the wrong time to praise Bristol’s parenting style. Her comments followed an episode in which Tripp screeched at his aunt Willow, calling her what was, despite bleeping, pretty clearly a very ugly gay slur. Hmm, where does a 3-year-old pick up language like that?
Second, Sarah may want to reconsider what message “Teen Mom” is actually sending to girls. According to a study by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen & Unplanned Pregnancy, the vast majority of teens now “better understand the challenges of pregnancy and parenting” due to the MTV reality shows “Teen Mom” and “16 and Pregnant.” In fact, 2010 marked a record low birth rate in this country for girls 15 to 19. So much for glamorizing.
—She’s back. Kate Gosselin is shopping around a new reality show that would follow her on dates as she tries to land a new man.
Jimmy Kimmel referred to the concept as “‘The Bachelorette’ meets ‘The Deadliest Catch.’”
You’ve got to give it to Kate. She managed to find a way to get us to pay for raising her brood of children. In grand style. You try taking eight kids to a resort in Hawaii.
Now we’re going to foot the bill while she wines and dines some guys into a stupor before wrapping them in her webbing.
It won’t end here, people. This will be a cradle-to-grave reality show-subsidized life. Wait for her funeral series: “Kate the Late.”
