By Dale Roe, Austin American-Statesman –
This week’s TV picks:
—Monday:
“Bachelor Pad” 7 p.m., ABC: I’m more excited about rumors of a new iPad.
“American Ninja Warrior” 7 p.m., NBC: A winner is named in the season finale, but nobody knows who it is because of ninja stealth.
“The Glass House” 9 p.m., ABC: The worst day of the “Glass House” week has got to be window washing day.
—Tuesday:
“History Detectives” 7 p.m., PBS: There was a KKK Records? And a B-side tune on one of its 78s was “The Jolly Old Klansman?” Not kkkool.
“15 Awesomest Boy Bands” 8 p.m., E!: I’ll bet “The Jolly Young Klansmen” didn’t make the cut.
“Trust Us With Your Life” 8:30 p.m., ABC: Florence Henderson’s life gets the re-enactment treatment from the “Whose Line Is It” folks. “Here’s the story … of a Wayne named Brady …” “Love in the Wild” 9 p.m., NBC: Season 2 concludes tonight.
—Wednesday:
“The CLIOS: World’s Best Commercials” 7 p.m., NBC: What’s more fun than an hour of the world’s best commercials? Trying to fast-forward through the terrible commercials that programmers will put in the breaks.
“Top Chef Masters” 9 p.m., Bravo: A dozen chefs (a baker’s dozen would have been much cooler) play cards for ingredients in the Season 4 opener — probably Cabbage. Er, Cribbage.
—Thursday:
“Cajun Justice” 9 p.m., A&E: I’d like my jury summons blackened, please.
“3” 9 p.m., CBS: A trio of single women search for love in Chicago in the premiere of this new reality series. I like this new naming convention. I’m going to start retroactively calling that “Seinfeld” show “4.”
“Louie” 9:30 p.m., FX: The comic goes on a crazy date with manic new flame Parker Posey in tonight’s stellar episode.
—Friday:
“2012 Summer Olympics” 6:30 p.m., NBC: The Opening Ceremony at London’s Olympic Stadium ought to consist of a Benny Hill tribute (and “Bald Head Slapping” should be an event!). Instead, Paul McCartney will perform, and there’s a better than 50 percent chance that he’ll be allowed to finish before some cranky old Brits pull the plug.
“Primetime: What Would You Do?” 8 p.m., ABC: What everybody else is doing — watching the Olympics Opening Ceremony.
—Saturday:
“2012 Summer Olympics” 7 p.m., NBC: Swimming finals, men’s team gymnastics and beach volleyball. I don’t like it when American swimmers go head-to-head. It seems like one of them would have a better chance of winning if they were side-by-side and faced in the same direction.
—Sunday:
“2012 Summer Olympics” 6 p.m., NBC: Women hit the water and tumble in swimming, diving and gymnastics events.
