By Dale Roe, Austin American-Statesman –
This week’s TV picks:
—Monday:
“The Bachelorette” 7 p.m., ABC: Remember when the Rolling Stones couldn’t sing “Let’s Spend the Night Together” on TV? Tonight, Emily’s remaining suitors lobby for a chance to shack up with her in the fantasy suite.
“Border Wars” 8 p.m., NGC: Don’t bother — it turns out this isn’t a reality competition among Taco Bell employees after all.
“The Closer” 8 p.m., TNT: The final season picks up as Brenda battles Philip (and a new D.A.).
“Bizarre Foods America” 8 p.m., Travel: For $750, this cupcake had better be frosted with gold and filled with wishes.
“Perception” 9 p.m., TNT: Think “Monk,” but with paranoid schizophrenia instead of OCD. Wacky!
—Tuesday:
“MLB All-Star Game” 6:30 p.m., Fox: Finally. After this, the real baseball season can start.
“America’s Got Talent” 7 p.m., NBC: The phrase “Top 48” should not be allowed on television outside of a VH1 countdown show.
“Trust Us With Your Life” 8 p.m., ABC: Surprise! The “Whose Line Is It Anyway” guys are back on TV and, surprisingly, not as scandal subjects in a TMZ profile.
“NY Med” 9 p.m., ABC: Dr. Oz appears in the premiere of this reality series set in New York-Presbyterian Hospital.
—Wednesday:
“Dogs in the City” 7 p.m., CBS: Samantha gets treated for worms while Charlotte visits a new groomer. Meanwhile, Miranda growls at the mail carrier and Carrie takes the food out of her bowl and drops it on the living room carpet before eating it.
“Final Witness” 9 p.m., ABC: Why are shady pasts always referred to as “checkered”? What’s wrong with stripes and polka dots? Just once, I’d like to hear about somebody besides Prince with a “paisley past.”
—Thursday:
“The Choice: 8 p.m., Fox: I’m presuming the title refers to whether to watch tonight’s first season finale. Guess what my decision is? “Big Brother” 8 p.m., CBS: As Season 14 kicks off, the venerable reality program counters ABC’s new “Glass House” by constructing its domicile entirely out of cheese.
—Friday:
“Tyler Perry’s For Better or Worse” 8 p.m., TBS: Worse.
“The Culinary Adventures of Baron Ambrosia” 9 p.m., Cook: If this isn’t a new Terry Gilliam film, I’m going to be sorely disappointed.
—Saturday:
“An American Girl: McKenna Shoots for the Stars” 7 p.m., NBC: Ex-gymnast Cathy Rigby and ex-celebrity Nia Vardalos star in this feel-good family flick.
—Sunday:
“Air Disasters” 7 p.m., Smithsonian: This has got to be a profile of Jay Leno’s “Tonight Show,” right? “Leverage” 7 p.m., TNT: Season 5 begins.
“Breaking Bad” 9 p.m., AMC: Heisenberg lives, and TV’s best drama addresses lingering questions from the Season 4 conclusion.
“Political Animals” 9 p.m., USA: First family drama premieres tonight.
“Small Town Security,” 10 p.m., AMC: This new reality series looks at a Georgia-based private security firm.
