A strong and healthy marriage demands considerable effort, patience, and compromise – even sacrifice (ohh scary word) from both partners. Sparking up the relationship can be tough, especially if you have been going on for many years. Though love and respect are important for a successful marriage, there are so many other factors that are often underestimated by couples.

The Importance Of Keeping The Proverbial Spark Alive

A marriage – or any relationship, for that matter – is like this flower, which needs watering all the time for it to blossom. But even though marriage is a tough ship to sail, the thought of lifelong companionship and those happy and bittersweet and amazing memories shared between the two of you makes it all seem worthwhile. Look to new experiences as a couple, deepen the connection you have together – and you won’t have to worry about rekindling the spark because it will never go away.

But if you feel it’s flickering, it’s a good sign – meaning you’re in tune with your partner and will be willing to work to make things feel like a raging inferno of love again.

7 Exciting Ways To Stay Exciting In Your Marriage

Truth be told, even in the happiest of marriages it is easy to get stuck into a rut every now and then. Here are 7 ways you can go from the honeymoon phase to building a life together — and keep improving your marriage long after you say, “I do.”

1. Talk To Each Other Openly

Being attentive to your partner is the only thing that matters in a relationship. Listen to your partner when they speak. Actively listening is the key: register both what they are saying and what they are conveying with the intention of empathy and validation. Try to be more flexible and compromise when you discuss problems, and for the love of God, don’t ignore conflict.

2. Experience New Things

Exploring new hobbies together can significantly strengthen your marriage by fostering a deeper connection. Whether you hit the gym or take a cooking class, these activities allow you to share interests and become more engaged in each other’s lives.

3. Go On Adventures Together

If you want to bring romance back to your marriage, you might consider going on more trips together. This could mean traveling to places you have already visited to reignite those happy emotions you once felt or being more adventurous and trying out brand-new locations where you can create new memories.

4. Have Regular Date Nights

Sometimes it might feel like your marriage is getting boring, but the reason might just be that you stopped going on dates on a regular basis. Turning one day of the week into a date night would bring back the excitement and desire towards each other.

5. Give Thoughtful (And Naughty) Gifts

It doesn’t have to be extravagant or expensive, but after all those years together, even a little token of appreciation goes a long way. Do you know their favorite ice cream flavor? Can you buy them a lingerie gift, and do you know their bra size sufficiently? ‘Cause that one would be a gift for both of you for sure. 

6. Pay Attention To The Sex 

Make time under the sheets a priority; even when you think you are too busy, you will not regret it. They say scheduling sex isn’t sexy – that’s crap because sex is sexy, and let’s be honest – the only way you’re doing it after your 9 to 5 and struggling with the kids is if it’s on the Google calendar. Make sure each of you has your fair share of pleasure by trying different positions, using toys for couples or male sex toys on him as foreplay – the same goes for all the toys that are meant for her pleasure. The sex toy market is really your best friend at this point.

7. Be There For Each Other

Marriage can be challenging, and there may be moments when one partner feels unwell, faces work-related issues, or deals with depression. During the times that feel trying, moments that are harder, along with all the burnout and resentment that boils up over the years, it’s essential to support each other as much as possible. Simple acts like listening, showing understanding, and offering love can make a significant difference.

You Won’t Feel Like Newlyweds On Your Tenth Anniversary – And It’s Okay

When you first get married, there’s often an unspoken expectation that the excitement, passion, and butterflies will last forever. Fast-forward ten years, and things are bound to feel different. That doesn’t mean your relationship should be devoid of excitement or romance. It just looks different. Instead of grand gestures, it’s in the small, everyday moments – knowing your partner’s quirks, finishing each other’s sentences, and finding comfort in the silence you share. 

It’s the intimacy of knowing someone so well that you can ultimately be yourself without any pretense. Even though it is totally worth it to try to keep the spark alive, don’t try to make it as it used to be because it never will – but it is bound to get better.