Dear Osage 5th grade class/parents/school,
My daughter is Ambur Koenigs. She transferred to Osage school 2 years ago as we moved into the Osage community. Although my 2 older daughters have had very little experience with bullying, I cannot say the same for my 5th grade daughter.
It has been horrendous from the first day she started. She has been called every name in the book, been not allowed to sit at the lunch table, blocked from her locker, kids who played with her were even teased, she even was afraid to go to the bathroom and would hold it all day due to the extreme bullying she experienced.
Ambur is a bright TAG, sweet, quirky young lady and had no bullying problems until Osage.
Teachers got involved, principals got involved and parents were involved to no avail.
When she went and would tell anyone, it got worse. Anytime anyone was told not only did it get worse for her, but I felt the effects from other parents to me.
She was told it has to happen twice for it to be bullying and the kids knew it. That’s when she quit telling adults what was going on. Can you imagine different people all day long calling you “failure , loser,ugly, Scorpion girl, Amburzilla,etc, etc, etc”?
News flash for the adults who didn’t believe her, bullying will not happen in front of you. That’s a no brainer.
It broke her. She cried every day after school and before.
This Monday I had had enough. I pulled her out of Osage and enrolled her in a private school.
We tried everything and I could not watch her self esteem plummet even more as she withdrew into herself.
To those adults who helped her, thank you. To those children and adults who either didn’t believe their child was doing it or didn’t believe my daughter or BLAMED MY DAUGHTER, shame on you!
Osage, you have a bullying problem. My daughter is proof that if you are new to Osage you have a high chance of not just not being welcomed, but being bullied.
Because of her experience at Osage, she will be lobbying the legislature on a bullying bill that will be coming forward this legislative session by Representative Hall out of Sioux City. It was her idea because of what she watches me do.
I prefer to empower my daughter, not break her down. Congratulations Osage bullies, she left.
Kim Koenigs
Child advocate
Kadyn’s Law 2012
SF2021 2012
All I can say is WOW. I don’t live in Osage, I don’t even live in Iowa; but ‘bullying’ is a worldwide issue. I don’t care for the term bullying, I feel it is used to loosely. However, for those of you concerned with how the mother of the daughter may or may not have painted the picture of a community, a school, teachers, etc., YOU ALL have pretty much made this outsider think you have a horrible community by the way you have communicated in this thread. It is easy to deduce that there are ‘bullying’ issues on a grand scale in your community just from reading this. If this is how adults talk to one another, what are your kids seeing and hearing? Understanding this is an emotional issue, it still does not warrant the kind of snide, rude and hateful public remarks that are being exemplified here. May God follow you all with blessings and provide you with a new attitude in 2014.
A few more names those of you that think this is not a problem should know. Jasmine McClain 10 yrs old, Phoebe Prince 15 yrs old, Ashlynn Conner 10 yrs old, and Eden Wormer 14 yrs old. All beautiful young girls. All bullied by classmates. All hanged themselves because of it. These are only 4 names of so many that have taken their own lives. I could make a list a mile long. I could also make a list a mile long of children who have taken guns to school and have killed those who have bully them. Ages as young as 6 yrs old. These children either take their own life or take the life of another because they rather be dead or kill, than to deal with what they deal with everyday. How would you like to live that life? Is your kid the bully at school? Will your child be the target of another kid who has been pushed too far and takes revenge to an extreme? I love my town and I do not want to read about one of our youth hanging themselves or killing another. Don’t bash those trying to help kids. Those of you putting down the people trying make a difference should be intelligent enough to know when the time is to put away your personal feelings and do something for the greater good. Regardless of your personal feelings or opinions, I find it hard to believe anyone wouldn’t want to help find solutions for this problem in so many communities.
“Osage supporter”…unless you actually DO SOMETHING about this problem, and I do mean something other than ‘sharing ignorance’ on a website, you appear to have nothing more to you than a jock strap.
Sarah, you seem to be one of the individuals the “good” people are concerned with. It is your kind of attitude that proves the point of the subject. Clearly, you are incapable of having an intelligent conversation about a very serious matter. Name calling, put downs ect. as you do is the exact behavior we have labeled “bullying”. Let me try to explain to you my point so someone like yourself can understand. As a community, if everyone would put personal feelings aside and communicate about a problem that community has, then solutions can start to come forward. As I said before, NO ONE has the solution. Not me, not you, not anyone. It takes many to contribute to something like this. Many parents out there did not have the chance to do what these parents are trying to do. It was to late for them. Their children killed themselves. Some as young as 10 years old hanged themselves because their life was consumed by another kid “bullying” them. How is this ignorance? I suggest you do some research, learn some facts, then join in a conversation with some intelligence to back up what you write. You obviously missed my entire point. I hope I wrote a bit more at your level for you to understand this time. Just to sum it up for you, personal attacks don’t help anything. Think about the kids who are no longer with us and don’t put down those trying to make a difference.
There are a lot of things that I have seen. Is it just me or aren’t you kind of a big bully yourself? I would say so. Practice what you preach.
For those of you who haven’t checked out the Facebook page I invite you to do so!! “Say No to Bullying In Osage” there are stories there that shatter your heart to read. Many brave people have stepped up since this story has come out. I do think Osage is a great place to live~been there my entire life~I think every town has their own issues that need to be dealt with~but bullying is different in my eyes. If a child doesn’t step up and say something no one knows it’s happening and continues to happen until something bad happens. So I hope that each of you takes a minute to check out the stories. 🙂
“shared ignorance”…gossip…just like what is here. no change is taking place here. psssssst…do something.
Again with the “do something” Sarah? Do you know how change is made? It starts with communication, gathering support, getting people to talk and open up about their experiences. Hmmm seems that is what’s going on here. Do you think this will happen over night. If one person “does something” then it is all taken care of? NO. The doors have opened and the people trying to “do something” are listening, they are trying to find solutions, gather ideas. This is how it starts, then they can make intelligent suggestions, offer ideas. Without this first step of communication, change will never happen. Unless you have something positive to add or a suggestion for this community, let those trying to help kids get things started. You are clearly not the help they need.
For those of you that think being bullied will make you stronger, and maybe it did for you, I have two names for you. Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold. Bullying is not just about being teased or called names, or even left out. It can brake you. It can turn you into someone who you would never ever have become had it not been for those kids. Those kids who have parents that did not teach them right from wrong. Or maybe like Eric and Dylan, they have parents that just don’t pay attention. I live in Osage and love it. I have three children, two of them go to school in Osage. They both have told me there is a large number of kids in this school that treat others so badly. I watch kids at the playgrounds and am shocked myself by the lack of parental supervision and behavior of kids here. I don’t know the answer, nor do any of you, but what I do know is instead of blame or finger pointing, this community needs to pull together, admit the problem, and find a way to fix it. This really is a good community, but just like all other communities we have a bullying issue. I find it sad more people do not study the many cases across the county of children who have been so bullied they turned to violence or suicide. Help prevent this and offer solutions, instead of becoming part of the problem.
This is just hilarious!
You bullied your step son! People who live in glass houses should not throw stones lest someone pick it up and whip it at you! Stop playing the victim all of the time. Michelle doesn’t talk to you because you have issues! It is no shocker that your daughter has problems getting along at school! Osage is a great community! Kids needs to learn to deal with stressful and difficult situations in order to become well rounded adults! Good luck!
Amen! I agree with this post 100%
I’m not sure that we are still on the original point of the story. lol the point is that a mother is taking a stand for her child~I would do the same for any of mine. Sure maybe Mom isn’t a saint~but who is~have you ever made a mistake and wish you could take it back?? I think we need to stick to the point at hand. and blaming the child gets us where in this case??
She can accuse other children of bulling her daughter and she is standing up for her daughter but she herself, as an adult, can bully a child that she is supposed to be a parent figure to? Isn’t that ironic or maybe we should overlook her “sins”. She is an adult yet she does not have to be held to the same standards as a 5th grader? You are right! We have lost sight of the original issue. Her daughter will struggle her whole life if she is repeatedly told that you can play a victim and everyone else will be held accountable but she won’t! Now she is modeling her mother’s behavior! KIDS ARE MEAN! They are learning how they fit into their peer group. Do I think that we, as adults, should allow them to run rampant and be completely without government or supervision? No! This mother takes validity away from her argument by the fact that she is always looking to hold up the torch and stand in the glow! People don’t have to be around her for very long before they realize what she is all about! You can touch the life of a child by being loving, nurturing, and understanding. A child learns to accept others, good and bad, and learns to categorize behaviors as behaviors that they want to model and behaviors that are not acceptable. Kim Koenigs does not have behavior that I want to model! Teach your daughter to be the bigger person, be honest with yourself! This constant victim is a role that you have decided to model. So sad. You are taking away from these “causes” by your personal need to stand in the limelight. Practice saying , “we, we, us, us ,they, they.” Not “I, I, I!” Try for 1 day, 1 week, 1 month to not create turmoil. Live life without turmoil and you have to focus on yourself! I am sure that this is very scary for you especially in the state that you are in! The way that you carry on is every bit as wrong as bullying. Hypocrisy!
I have no interest in this other than the bullying issue that is prevalent throughout our society. Whether it happens in Osage, Mason City or Des Moines isn’t an issue here because it happens everywhere. The problem are people like you who say suck it up and live with it because it will make you stronger and prepare you for life. That is a crock. As Osage Supporter says in another post, there are serious consequences to bullying and too often we let the bullying continue for lack of a good solution to the problem. If you research almost all of the school shooting that have happened, you will find that the majority of them have at their core bullying. The effects are long-lasting. They can be devastating and deadly. I was not a victim of bullying when I went to school but I certainly saw it and may have contributed to it by laughing at the ones being bullied or ignoring it when I saw it. I am not proud of that and I wish I had the stones to stand up to those who did it. I didn’t then, but I do now and I will do whatever I can to help stop it.
You take almost a year to comment?
” In life you’re going to be left out, talked about, lied to, and used.. YOU just have to learn whos’s worth your tears and who’s aren’t.”
Middle school were the worst years for me..
BUT, it’s made me a stronger person today I’ve learned to ALWAYS speak my mind and I LET no one walk all over me .and I always stick up for myself and express my opinion . . .
If I remember correctly a good friend of mine’s child came home from school crying one day because of mean words your daughter said to him. It is a two way street and it is time to realize that no one here is innocent.
I agree that no one is innocent~but pointing fingers saying you did this and he did that is getting no where. I think at one point in everyone’s lives they are bullied~let us learn to teach our children the rights and wrongs before it gets any worse.
I am sorry for your daughter, but this is a part of growing up. Mommy isn’t always going to be around to protect you. At some point in your life you are going to have to learn how to stand up for yourself and grow a thicker skin. People are mean all the time, at every age, in every profession, and everywhere. It is a fact of life.
Also, every story has two sides, have you taken the time to listen to the other side?
I went to Osage, and kids picked on me at times, but I learned how to deal with it, and not take things so seriously. That is a lesson everyone needs to learn. It is not okay to put the blame on teachers and administration, nor is it okay to make Osage sound as bad as you are making it out to be. I grew up here, and you are wrong about this “bullying” issue, there may be some incidences, but this is being blown completely out of proportion.
If parents aren’t there to protect their children then who should?? So in 5th grade this little girl should grow a thicker skin and figure this out on her own? Is that what you are saying?? I also grew up and graduated from Osage schools~and saw the kids bullying there. If we are not to blame the teachers and the school staff then who is to blame?? We intrust them with our children to protect and teach them when we are not there. I think there are more cases than you believe going on~have you taken the time to ask and listen??
WOW…I do think bullying is a problem but…you bashing the teachers and school is wrong. Do not believe everything that the story says. There are always 2 sides to the story!! It is sad to say you are using this issue to get attention. I am not saying that nothing happened at all but…really?? Maybe you should get back to work so you have something to do with all your time. Always looking for a cause…abuse, harrassment, sexual harrassmen, stalking and now bullying. You have done great things but hurt allot of people with your accusations along the way…sad!
Really?…. You have nothing better to do than
Watch my life and what I’m doing? Do tell, how
Do you know exactly what has happened to
My DAUGHTER that I am choosing to support.
As far as the other things you talk about I can see
Why you don’t agree with me trying to stand
Up for what is right, you hide behind a computer
Screen name. I stick my neck out to protect
Children, I know it’s a horrible thing right?
If you would know the whole story you would
Know if I thought the school was a bad school
I would not have left my other 2 daughters there to go
To school there. It was this particular group of kids. I love
Osage and I have also publicly stated her teacher did help her.
Why don’t you focus on someone else or are you
Obsessed? Your statement proves bullies come in all ages.
I will continue to support my daughter.
Maybe you should find a cause to work
On so you quit knocking me.
By the way ‘really’.. I know who you are….and
You wonder why I have nothing to do with you
Anymore…..
Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet. CAT FIGHT
No cat fight… I just don’t know why MICHELE
NEEDS TO DO THIS BEHIND A COMPUTER
SCREEN. It makes sense now how your daughters
Treated mine. I guess they learned from their mother.
Leave us alone.
Exactly!
Bullies pick on the people they see as vulnerable and meek.(not meaning that in a bad way.)because they are easy targets. The only way to combat them is by not seeing yourself as a victim. A couple steely stares, a chuckle and just walking away bores them and they’ll move on to search for a new victim. There’s adult bullies too. Best way to combat them is ignore them. Soon they’re bored and realize you’re not weak.
I find it hard to believe no one at all would sit with this girl. When I was in school boys teased but I had my group of friends and that’s all that mattered. Bullies approval wasn’t vital to my happiness.
Bottom line.
You just have to grow a pair to combat bullies. Running to the legislature won’t help. Like Jesse Ventura said “You can’t legislate stupidity.”
Well there was one girl who refused to sit with the mean girls in the cafeteria and sit with Ambur. And yes the two girls sat by themselves at another table. Do you know that the ladies in the cafeteria now give the kids a number and make them sit at that table! A teacher told the class that it was due to them not wanting to clean a table with just a few sitting at it. This came up after this incident came to the schools attention. The school web site even says that they have a bullying problem with 5th, 8th, & 11th grades and they have goals for this problem. Nothing states how they plan to achieve these goals. Last year the fourth grade class was called to the principals office due to the bullying problem in this class. As a parent, I was never notified of a problem nor told my daughter was called to the office about it. Parents need to know what’s going on.
This is messed up. Now they gotta assign numbers. What kind of town is Osage anyway.
I believe we are over exaggerating a bit? In previous statements, the story has been that NOT A SINGLE person would sit with Ambur, so now we hear that there was someone who sat with her? If you want to be taken seriously get your story straight, especially at the state level. And also, there has always been a number to sit at a table. And if this rule has changed more recently due to supposed bullying issues, is that not the school taking action? What more would you like them to do? Expel the student?
Really? sitting here and blaming the school and Mr. Bass and the teachers! trying to get there own town agaisnt them! this isnt right either i understand you feel bad for your daughter and i do too but by blaming the school and trying to humiliate them now is bullying on your part
I would like to ask you then who do we “blame?” When parents drop their children off at school they intrust them with the teachers and staff of the school to do what is best~to treat them as their own children. I don’t feel that anyone is trying to turn the school on them~maybe just open the eyes that might not be seeing the entire case.
It’s nice that people are making Osage sound like a horrible place to live. I love it here and I personally think this has been blown out of proportion. I am sorry that your daughter was bullied, but is it necessary to blame this all on the teachers? I don’t think so. Bullying is constantly a subject in school and all teachers do their best to prevent it from happening. I personally know this and see it everyday. Osage is a great place to live and this doesn’t happen to everyone. All you are doing is making this look like a horrible town to live in. Hope your happy with the attention. Best of luck to Ambur.
With all respect I don’t think its the entire osage that has a bullying problem. I do believe that their may be a few kids that may bully but I don’t think that we can say Osage as a whole has a problem. I think that every school has problems with a few kids that just aren’t nice but it isnt fair to say it is just Osage. The 5th grade teachers are some of the sweetest teachers I have ever meet and there is no right to put this blame on them or the Osage Schools. I’m sorry that this happened to your daughter but you have no right to try and make one of the most amazing communities ever look bad!
I ask you~have you walked the halls of Osage schools?? When I attend school in Osage I heard it EVERYWHERE!! on the bus~on the playground~in the lunch room…..it goes on and on. This is not the first case of bullying that I have heard of~I have heard it in Kindergarten, 3rd grade and 4th grades also. My 7th grader also hears a lot of it happening in the middle school. It might be that no one stands up and says “Hey, so and so is picking on me” but it is and has always been happening. I think the teachers do what they can but there is also so much more than can done in my mind. If Osage is such an “amazing” community then why are so many people turning their backs on this issue instead of asking more questions on how this can be handled??
Is it time for teachers to do the blue eyes, brown eyes experiment, not for racism, but for bullying? Except now, they need to put the bullied kids in the superior position and the bullies in the subservient position.
Ambiguous favoritism. That’ll fix it. When are you running for school board?
Have you ever even heard of the blue eye, brown eye exercise that happened right here in Riceville in 1968? It is one of the most famous social diversity exercises ever done. Google it. The results are still controversial, but it certainly made the students see things from a different point of view. What bullies lack is empathy. How do you propose to teach it to them?
1968?!?! That was back when the government was still telling us that cancer was a virus wasn’t it? Science is never wrong.
Anonymous: The blue eye/brown eye experiment lasted in the Riceville School District until 1984. It was one of the most successful exposés on racism since the book Black Like Me written by John Howard Griffin in 1961. It was the experiences of a white man who darkened his skin to pass as a black man for 6 weeks while he travelled the south prior to desegregation. It was a very emotionally disturbing book that I read right before I went to college in the mid sixties. I had seen prior incidents of horrible racism in Virginia when I was around 11 years old and could not believe that anyone could treat another person in the manner I saw. Bullying is very much like racism except that the victim of bullying feels way more alone because s/he is an individual, not a group. The bullied individual feels even more powerless because there is no one sharing his or her experience and there is no group power. I think bullies often are bullied at home and have no power there so exert it against weaker people in their social circles, or the victims may be bullied at home and don’t dare fight back against anyone. There are probably many reasons and many responses. It’s all so unkind and unnecessary.
Katie,
I don’t know who you are but THANK YOU for recognizing the need for the eye color exercise!!!
EVERY SINGLE DAMNED SCHOOL needs this exercise from third grade on…will it happen? no.
The FACT that Osage has Jane Elliott IN THEIR COMMUNITY to learn this exercise from; they could actually BE a school WITHOUT BULLIES and they refuse!!! Do you have any idea what that says about this community?
Jane Elliott is called upon by attorneys from all over the WORLD to consult over the phone their own racially/sexually-charged cases and how to proceed; she’s asked by corporations from ALL OVER THE WORLD to come in and do the eye color exercise to their employees to decrease racism within their ranks; she’s called on by colleges and universities from ALL OVER THIS NATION AND THE WORLD to give speeches and put students through the exercise to decrease racism on campus. But Osage cannot pick up the phone…what does that say about the community? What does that say about the school system?
Katie…you know and I know that the eye color exercise changes those who experience it; it changes those who are around those who experience it. It produces change.
Osage knows about those changes.
Osage doesn’t want to change.
How sad is that?
It has always been here in Mason City. I am 60+ years old and went to Mason City Schools and still remember the bullying. They didn’t want to hear about it then and they don’t want to now. Usually it is the social elite that are the problem. They think they are better than everyone. If a parent or parents were to file suit on the schools they would start doing their jobs. This will stay with the young lady all of her life. I feel so bad for her.
Very sorry this happened. Unfortunately it is everywhere.
Bullying is no laughing matter! it needs to be taken seriously! Wake up people!
Same in Mason City as well. My Case was with my son and not a daughter. Backs were turned.
Samething in Mason City. To many people just turning their heads! They have no idea what it does for the child and their self esteem.
We also pulled our child and have her in a private school much better! She is no longer just a number!
Hang in there!
The bullying is rampant in Mason City. They don’t do anything about it. Kids pay the price.
Running away never solves a problem. I love taking on a bully and refuse to allow them to control me. Once a child sees themselves as the victim; the bully has gotten the upper hand and knows it.
I do agree that running solves nothing~but how much do you expect for this little girl to take?? As an adult it’s easy for us to say we love to take this head on but we (should) teach our children some respect for themselves and others.