WASHINGTON, D.C. – Americans have pondered countless Youtube videos and become self-professed experts on vaccinations and epidemiology, but nonetheless, the itchy measles virus is spreading, and many are praying that Donald Trump’s health secretary RFK Jr. will save us from a major outbreak.
Health officials from Texas – and now nearby states – report dozens of new cases of measles, with folks complaining of fever, cough, runny nose, watery eyes, and tiny white spots here and there. The disease is very contagious, especially among the unvaccinated – a growing segment in America as many mommies sitting home watching online videos now believe that vaccines will give their perfect Tommy and Janie a bad case of the Autisms. Some more-educated folk claim this lack of preparedness is fostering a tinder-box of opportunity for measles and other nasty diseases to spread like yawns at an after-dinner Lawrence Welk marathon in a retirement home.
To the rescue, many folks are praying, is the breath of fresh air health secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. offered to America by President Donald Trump. His qualifications include a bachelor’s degree in American history and literature, and law degrees. According to a biography filed with Congress, “Kennedy’s reputation as a resolute defender of the environment and children’s health stems from hundreds of successful legal actions.”
Armed with his legal expertise, his knowledge of American history, and his status as “an award-winning writer” Americans may be able to sleep well at night knowing a microscopic bug is facing this public servant’s wits and directives.
Should Americans be worried about Democrats who say RFK’s “efforts in Samoa deceived families about measles vaccines led to a deadly outbreak … many of whom were young children”? These naysaying non-MAGA-types claim that Kennedy in about 2018 “discouraged people from taking the measles vaccine” that caused thousands to get sick, and kill 83 people.
Clearly now that Kennedy (pictured at top via C-SPAN) is officially appointed to office, and millions are depending on him for leadership and ideas in the realm of public health, he will come to his senses and muster the power of the federal government to keep us safe from measles and other virus and disease – right?