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Vandals take note: Mason City skywalk cannot be damaged by thrown rocks

Mason City’s proposed skywalk shall be oblivious to punks throwing rocks.

MASON CITY – Any disgruntled punks launching rocks from their muscled upper appendages at Mason City’s new skywalk will be completely humiliated and out of luck, it was declared this month at a council work session.

Mason City’s city council and other officials got together again on May 5 to trade hot air and pow-wow about the big bad skywalk that is allegedly going to be built downtown, connecting from a hotel that doesn’t quite exist yet across Delaware Avenue to the hoppin’ Music Man Square – always a popular hot spot with locals and tourists who flock there on a regular basis to sniff the never-stale air inside the oh-so-attactive giant beige shoebox.

This man is ready to party at or near the indestructible skywalk – if it is ever built.

Former janitor and now once again councilman John Jacksooskee listened intently to the discussion about the $1+ million dollar Skywalk piece to the grandiose Rennaissance Project. After all that discussion, his laser-sharp brain came up with a question worthy of the professor from Gilligan’s Island – could some nasty druggy, pissed at the world and looking to score some tasty revenge, suddenly turn into Roger Clemmons and launch from his world-class arm cannon a rock, and thereby besmirch the hallowed skywalk?  “Would the glass be strong enough…” the mop-pusher mumbled out loud.

A semi-coherent official in attendance was nudged awake and assured Mr. Jacksooskee, that yes, the glass would hold, it is “impact-resistant” and no rock would ever scratch, crack nor otherwise defile this trusty pathway.

After this extremely important bit of detail was proclaimed, all in attendance breathed a huge sigh of relief and the meeting was adjourned.

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