These days, entering a relationship can be fun, but also rather complicated. It’s imperative to figure out what kind of relationship you want, what are your expectations and where you want to go next. Realistically, there are casual relationships like friends with benefits, or something serious that could potentially lead to marriage. Before you delve into FWB or any other type of relationship it makes sense to define the different relationship types and see which one works for you.
Casual vs Serious
The casual relationship is a connection that’s built around enjoying each other’s company. There are no long-term expectations here. You will have regular dates, intimacy, shared hobbies or just conversations, but there’s no shared assumption of any commitment. Here you have the friends with benefits type of relationship, open or non-exclusive arrangements, situationships and so on. Simply put, this is not a relationship where you have a defined plan. It can end very quickly, and it’s not something that has the potential to last for a very long time.
As the name says, a serious relationship is one where both people want to have a future together. Clearly, it’s different when compared to FWB/NSA because you have expectations, plans, you are not seeing other people and so on. In the case of a serious relationship, you are meeting each other’s friends and family, you have emotional reliance and a willingness to work through conflict instead of walking away from it.
Which One Is The Right Option?
Like any relationship, it all comes down to what you want. A casual relationship like FWB has low commitment, no future planning, little emotional investment, flexible time together and conflict is avoided. By comparison, a long-term serious relationship requires commitment, future planning, it’s exclusive, and you are deeply invested from an emotional standpoint. It’s definitely a challenge to make such a relationship work, but it’s definitely going to be worth it in the long term.
Now, which one is better is always up to you and what you feel is adequate. For some people, a friends with benefits relationship is fine, but others want things that are more meaningful. And that’s the truth, you need to figure out what you like and focus on a more intricate retrospection of yourself and what you are looking for. Ideally, you want to study how your life is looking right now, what you want from an emotional standpoint and how you feel when someone is getting close to you.
Those things will make it easier to identify what kind of relationship is ideal for you, especially when you talk about what you like, what are your non-negotiables and so on. Understanding that is important, and it can bring a much better result in the end.
Knowing You Are in The Wrong Kind of Relationship
When you have a FWB relationship with your friend, it can be exciting, but then again, you also want to see any issues that arise. If you feel suffocated, trapped, jealous, you’re not honest with yourself, then that means you are not in the right type of relationship. Understanding that and figuring out what to do is not going to be easy. But then again, you do want to see the red flags and know how to tackle the issues that arise. It’s not a walk in the park to navigate those problems, but it will be worth it in the long term.
Learn How to Talk About It
Ideally, you want to choose the right moment and lead with your own feelings. Be specific when it comes to how you feel, and also be aware of how the other person feels, because that is just as important. You do want to listen to the answer from their side and continue the conversation another time, when necessary.
Sometimes, not both parties are on the same side. For example, the other person might just want to keep it casual and no strings attached while you want it to be a long term thing. But the truth is that you can’t force them into something that they are not ready to handle. The most important thing here is to give it time, part ways kindly and understand that you want different things. Yes, it’s difficult, but it’s also the right thing to do here.
Realistically, sticking to a casual approach can be good for some people and bad for others. It always comes down to how both people feel and what they want from a relationship. The problem is that since not everyone wants the same thing, sometimes people’s feelings can get hurt. But you need to know that focusing on what’s best for both is the most important aspect. And it’s going to be worth it in the long term if you address both things wisely.