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Welfare-taker Charles Grassley announces bid for eighth term in Congress

Charles Grassley, collecting paychecks and subsidies in office since 1959

WASHINGTON, D.C – Charles Grassley, who has gotten rich off farm subsidies and government paychecks over many decades in office, isn’t about to quit, as he announces yet another campaign to stay at the Congressional feed trough and endlessly grift taxpayers.

Charles Grassley wants an eighth term in the Senate, he said via social media Thursday.  Sixty-two years of collecting countless millions in paychecks and farm welfare over his run in elected office dating back to the 1950’s just isn’t enough for Charles Grassley.  This grift includes, according to the LA Times, “$1.6 million in government subsidies in 1995-2017, according to a database compiled by the Environmental Working Group. The farm grows corn and soybeans.”  Charles’ male grand baby, Pat, also works the farm and is now cutting his teeth in the Iowa legislature, learning to suckle the nipple of sweet, warm milk that drips from elected office.

Grassley may want another term so grand baby Pat can groom himself a little longer to take grandpa’s perch someday, maybe in 2028, if Chuck lives that long.  He is 80-something years old, after all, and embarrasssingly tweets about pigeons and ice cream using extremely sloppy English that could make a sixth grader cringe.  By virtue of flouting the last name “Grassley” and gently sewing discord amongst fringe citizens, Pat can readily assume Chuck’s perch in the Senate instead of rightfully selling used cars as nature intended.  Ever-more disconnected, angry, gullible Iowa voters who are ignorant of reality and facts and merely look at a recognizable name on a ballot that manifest their hate will see to that.

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