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NFL rankings

This news story was published on September 9, 2012.
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By Danny O’Neil, The Seattle Times –

Danny O’Neil’s NFL power rankings

1. Green Bay    Unfortunately for Aaron Rodgers, no Discount Double Check on Super Bowls.

2. Houston      Hard to find a reason why Houston won’t be better this season than a year ago.

3. New England  Not a joke: Wes Welker has endorsed Depends and hair transplants.

4. Baltimore    Ravens would’ve kicked themselves over last year’s Pats playoff loss, except they missed.

5. Atlanta      Matt Ryan 0-3 in the playoffs, NFL equivalent of best golfer never to win a major.

6. Dallas       WR Dez Bryant’s behavior rules don’t require raising a hand to go to the bathroom. Yet.

7. Cincinnati   Bengals offense sounds like seasoning when Dalton peppers a defense.

8. N.Y. Giants  Winning ever get old? Nah. Not when the old get to win like Tom Coughlin.

9. Pittsburgh   Steelers so old that dirt is getting offended by the comparison.

10. San Francisco       Hey, Alex Smith, Earth just called. It’s waiting for you to fall back to it.

11. Philadelphia        Andy Reid’s mustache is getting long enough to give its own news conferences.

12. Seattle     Seahawks hoping that cutting Kellen Winslow doesn’t leave their wins low.

13. New Orleans Mutiny on the Bounty was a movie; mutiny over the bounties was a distinct possibility in La.

14. Denver      Peyton Manning follows natural equestrian development, going from Colt to Bronco.

15. Detroit     Not sure if Prince Fielder would help Lions’ D-line depth, but he’d certainly add width.

16. N.Y. Jets   Jets QBs threw to garbage cans in training camp. Perfect practice for this receiving corps.

17. Chicago     Nope. Quarterback Jay Cutler’s not any more likable this year.

18. Tennessee   Titans’ Locker room now a proper noun. It belongs to second-year QB from Ferndale.

19. San Diego   Why not give Norv Turner a 1,347th chance to show he can be a good NFL head coach?

20. Oakland     Carson Palmer resents Russell Wilson. Another NFL QB with two last names.

21. Arizona     Fitting the Cards have a Skelton quarterback given the bare-bones situation on the O-line.

22. Miami       Very possible the high point of this Dolphins season will be cutting Chad Johnson.

23. Carolina    Newton’s law states everything eventually falls back to earth. Even Cam.

24. Kansas City How can you name Romeo your coach and not expect a tragic outcome?

25. Washington  When does a mad rookie QB sound like a droid? When RG III’s P.O.’d.

26. Buffalo     Bills certainly due. They haven’t made the playoffs since 1995.

27. Jacksonville        Anyone who says Jags will have a winning record is full of Mularkey. Mike Mularkey.

28. Minnesota   Everything Vikes need to know involves knowing about Adrian Peterson’s knee.

29. Cleveland   Rookie QB Brandon Weeden is only 2 months older than Aaron Rodgers.

30. St. Louis   A shame NBA’s Stephen Jackson has gotten so many playoff games, Steven Jackson so few.

31. Tampa Bay   A control-freak college coach always works in the NFL. Ask Nick Saban about Miami.

32. Indianapolis        HBO’s Luck canceled after a single season. Indy’s Luck will have longer shelf life.

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